Signs you’ve been in the theatre too much

Signs you’ve been in the theatre too much:

Your weekend consists of Monday, and only Monday.
“Q” is not just a letter.
Public holidays that fall on Monday seem pointless to you.
You know more than one theory for the origin of the name “greenroom.”
You can only read from a light that is blue.
You consider the red part of the stoplight the “standby”.
You can’t remember what daylight looks like.
You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you’ve done than what went smoothly. You start wondering what it feels like to be a prop.
“Practical”, “Drop”, and “Flat” are nouns.
You’d heard of Mandy Patinkin before he was on Chicago Hope.
95% of your wardrobe is black.
You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you’ve done than what went smoothly.
You start wondering what it feels like to be a prop.
You know anything can be fixed with gaff tape, poly-filla, a sharpie, tie-line, a safety pin or enough staples.
You’re the only person you know who has never seen “Cats”.
Your Halloween costume in some way utilizes running blacks and gaff tape.
Your Halloween costume brings to mind lines from Shakespeare.
You understand the jokes in Forbidden Broadway.
You insist on spelling “theatre” with an “re” not an “er”.
Even while sitting in the audience, you call the left side of the stage “right”
and the right side of the stage “left”.
Going to a restaurant means ordering and sitting down in McDonald’s
rather than going through the drive-thru.
Instead of saying that you’re leaving, you say you’re “exiting.”
At home, you “strike” your dishes to the kitchen.
You “spike” your furniture before vacuuming.
If someone asks you what time it is, you respond with something like,
“Half hour ’til half hour.”
You call text books “scripts” and scripts “the book.”
You have an insatiable need to coil all the cable in your house correctly.
The gaffer tape residue on your hands has become a second skin.
In the back pocket of all your black jeans, there is a faded area resembling a wrench.
Cherry Coke, Jolt Cola and Coffee are your new best friends.
Along with the vending machine.
Items on your birthday / holiday wish lists include: Tools, Sleep-in-a-Can, and InstaRespecta: Simply sprinkle liberally on actors and they will suddenly feel indebted to you forever.
You find yourself waiting at the bus stop, in the summer, when it’s 30°C in the shade, wearing black pants, a black “Production Crew” t-shirt, black boots / shoes, a black bag, and black sunglasses.
You’ve read the Techie Gospel so many times, you start to question why God didn’t use Techies.
You use a gel cutter to open a bag of chips.
You give and / or receive MagLites for special occasions (especially those mooshie romantic ones).
You eat, sleep, and breathe tech.
You only breathe tech
You own promotional items from tech companies.
You keep a list of creative ways to impale actors.
You paint your room black.
Someone asks you the time and you reply with “14 minutes ’till places, please.”
You’ve discovered many interesting uses for a MagLite (let’s keep our mind out of the gutter please)
You actually visit this web page and find it enjoyable.

 

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